As usual, you are scrolling through the endless stream of reels. You get bored and switch to ‘right swiping’ through stories, where you encounter endless happy selfies of people—an acquaintance spending time with their friends at a destination you’ve always wanted to visit.
Meanwhile, you’re lying on your bed, craving connection…but not enough to call someone. Sound familiar? Congratulations! you’re living the greatest irony of our times: hyper-connected yet deeply disconnected.
Social media was designed to unite us, but it became alienating; now, it shapes how we relate to and engage in the world and with others.
Now, let’s unpack how this digital paradox impacts us and why we should rethink our relationship with social media.
Illusion of Connection
You know the drill: someone texts, “Let’s catch up soon!” You respond, “Yes, for sure!”—both knowing it is never going to happen. This digital world creates an illusion for us; everything seems so interactive, right?
But in fact, how often do you talk with those people in real life? Or when was the last time you had a conversation without typing “LOL” when you weren’t smiling?
This is where, in the process of making it easier, the whole idea of connection gets lost. It can be much like one is keeping in touch—you double-tap on a photo, you reply to a story—but these are shallow interactions.
Indeed, according to Positive Psychology, studies have shown that such transitory exchanges often supplant meaningful, face-to-face communication.
But while we can feel connected to hundreds of people online, what we’re lacking is emotional intimacy, which presumes that two individuals have real conversations and shared experiences.
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Alone But Together
We have turned ghosting into an art and FOMO into a lifestyle. It is not about being physically alone; it is the perception of being disconnected, as studies have pinpointed.
This paradox crops up from the fact that social media itself fails to mirror the depth of real-life interaction but rather tries to fill up your void with ‘micro-connections,’ likes; and comments, thus leaving you starved for deeper bonds.
This is further exacerbated by the overwhelming social pressure to always be online and present. Algorithms relentlessly push content on users to keep them scrolling, often reinforcing feelings of inadequacy or invisibility.
The effect this then has on certain individuals is hypersensitivity about events they were not invited to, or perhaps milestones they have not reached. This feeling of being “left out” creates a huge circle of social isolation and a very destructive self-comparison culture.
Many of us tend to compare our worth with the number of likes, shares, and comments one may get, bringing us into a constant…
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Pursuit of Validation
It’s thus in social media feeds curation that the full circle of illusion gets created—that everybody else’s life is meaningful—making us not want to post about our vulnerabilities.
This disconnection between public personas and privately endured struggles makes the true search for empathy and connection even more difficult online, and many of our online connections become shallow, focused more on appearances than genuine emotional support.
This oversaturation of superficial relationships crowds out the time and energy needed to develop the deeper, satisfying connections that give meaning to our lives. And somehow, even with a room full of people, everybody is on their phones, and the silence isn’t awkward anymore—it’s expected.
We may be physically present, but our minds are checked out and lost in our digital worlds. Now, imagine if we tried.
Instead of responding to a “How are you?” text with “Good, wbu?”, you call them and say, “Hey, let’s get a cup of coffee.”
Or how about this: the next time you’re feeling lonely and mentally depressed instead of posting some vague quote to your story in hopes that it’ll get everyone’s attention, actually reach out to somebody. You’ll be surprised how much better an actual conversation feels than counting likes.
So… what can we do to maintain a balance?
Let’s not overcomplicate this. It’s not about deleting your social media (though a break wouldn’t hurt). There are steps on how you could reconnect:
1. Be Present– When you’re with someone, be with them. That Instagram reel can wait.
2. Start Small– Call a friend, visit a family member, or simply say “hello” to a stranger (yes, in person).
3. Unplug Occasionally– Try a digital detox for a day. You might realize the world is just as interesting as your feed.
4. Limit Screen Time: Set boundaries for how much time you spend on social media each day. Apps that track screen time can be incredibly helpful.
5. Indulge in activities: Activities that will create a positive bubble for you, meditate, journal, exercise, just go out and live!
Most importantly, don’t worry; you’re not alone in it—ironically. We are all in this together, scrolling and lurking, camouflaging as busy but deep inside hoping that ‘someone’ actually cares. We all need a detox to free ourselves from the chains of ‘feeling’ lonely.
So, where do we stand? Scrolling through life with memes and laughing, somehow lonelier than ever. But it doesn’t have to be this way. The irony screams out loud and crystal clear: our digital world is here to stay, but the connections that count don’t need Wi-Fi.
So put down your phone—after you like this, obviously—and go make a real connection. You can start from home. Who knows, you might just find that the best moments don’t need hashtags.
And at the end of the day, it’s not about merely being connected; it’s about feeling the connection.
Authored by Sharanya, a 3rd year B.Voc. Media and Communication student at Fergusson.
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